if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize