awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
