I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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