God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
