one might say we're banned from that church
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
