the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
