So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
