Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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