Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
