Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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