one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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