by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
