I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
We are all done wearing pants today
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
