He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
