real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
