just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
