LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
