I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
