I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize