If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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