dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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