I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
