R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
The air taste purple.
Randomize
