32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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