you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize