he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
