your parents love me but you hate me
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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