i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
