I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I am naked and annoyed.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
