ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
