So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
