I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
