I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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