The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
