Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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