You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
So I just went to clothing optional bar
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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