What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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