I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wish i was in the wii world.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
