I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
