if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
