I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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