I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
