My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize