Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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