now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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