I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
