Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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