Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
