no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
