I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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