So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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