we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize