I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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