Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
