She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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