dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Enjoy the penises
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
