I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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