I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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