Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
