Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
