Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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