Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Alive.
So much puke
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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