Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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