Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I looked at my own cervix.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
