I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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