That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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