I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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