She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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