Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
