I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
honey bunches of taint.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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