I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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