Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize